Cinema Verdict Review: The Smurfs

The Smurfs

OPENING: 07/29/2011

STUDIO: Columbia Pictures

RUN TIME: 86 min

ACCOMPLICES:
Trailer, Official Site

The Charge
Where the Smurf are we?

Opening Statement
Long ago, a group of small blue humanoids called Smurfs invaded televisions every Saturday morning. They constantly sang a cheery song whose main lyrics were “la la la-la la la” and had adventures. Children were hooked immediately. Fast forward thirty years and those children are in the midst of re-discovering their childhoods. Sadly, it turns out some things are best left in the past.

Facts of the Case
On the eve of the Blue Moon festival, Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters, It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World) has a vision full of images too horrible to bear: a magic wand, iron cages, lots of yelling and running. Disaster is on the horizon, and it appears to be centered around Clumsy Smurf (Anton Yelchin, Hearts in Atlantis). And, indeed, Clumsy does instigate the troubles by stumbling too close to the haunt of Gargamel and leading the evil wizard straight to the Smurfs’ hidden village. In the ensuing flight to freedom, Clumsy makes a wrong turn and Papa leads a small task force to rescue him before it’s too late. But it is too late, and the lot are sucked through a vortex and into Central Park, followed closely by Gargamel, despite the fact that 94 of the 100 Smurfs did not go through the vortex and are loose in the wild.

In New York the Smurfs run across ad executive Patrick Winslow (Neil Patrick Harris, Beastly), who finds them to be a nuisance when they interrupt his work. The Smurfs just want to get home, which entails studying the stars (from the middle of New York City) and making a potion based on a Smurfs comic book. While they’re doing all this, they slowly creep into Patrick’s heart. He jams with them in an excruciating extended Guitar Hero scene complete with the Smurfs rapping along to Aerosmith’s “Walk…” I mean, “Smurf This Way.” Eventually, of course, he becomes a better man because of them, only partially because they inadvertently save his job, and he plays a small part in getting them home.

As for Gargamel, back in the cartoon days he wanted the Smurfs for one of two reasons: sometimes he wanted to eat them, other times he thought they were the key alchemic ingredient to make gold. This time, however, he wants to reduce them to their concentrated essence, which will give him the power to do…well, just about anything.

The Evidence
The Smurfs is aimed at the adults who grew up watching the cartoon, even more than their children. Thus, the film is loaded with self-referential quotes and gags. You’ve seen many of them in the trailers: they sing the Smurf song and Patrick says, “Don’t you find that just a little bit annoying?” Patrick also makes a fuss about them using the word “Smurf” for just about everything and questions the system of naming themselves after their primary characteristic. There are also plenty of pop culture references. The Smurfs “blend in” by hugging an advertisement for the Blue Man Group. They master the art of skateboarding. Smurfette is voiced by pop star Katy Perry, so naturally she says, “I kissed a Smurf…and I liked it!”

The problem isn’t the gags, per se, it’s that the gags become the movie. The thin plot is simply a frame to connect the dozens of little references and in-jokes. It makes for a very unsatisfying product.

The Smurfs featured in their first vehicle in three decades are mostly the obvious ones. Papa Smurf, Smurfette, and Brainy (Fred Armisen, Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore) are all…well, no-brainers. Grouchy Smurf (George Lopez, Rio)is a bit of a mystery, and he’s not as contrarian as he used to be. Apparently he’s mellowed in the last thirty years. Clumsy is along just because he’s the catalyst for the disaster. That leaves the last of the crew, Gutsy (Alan Cumming, Burlesque). Never heard of him? That’s because he was created for this film. Why didn’t they just use Hefty Smurf, who would have filled the “fearless adventurer” role back in the day? The only reason I can think of is that someone decided that characters who speak in a Scottish brogue are very popular with the kids these days. You can probably thank Shrek.

The voice acting is respectable; I never felt that the Smurfs weren’t really doing the talking. Most of the humans are less convincing. Neil Patrick Harris channels Matthew Perry throughout most of the film, and every time he tries to hug a Smurf, it looks unnatural. Jayma Mays brings her perky Glee presence to the role of Grace and does a credible job of selling an enthusiastic, optimistic wife. Hank Azaria (Hop) has the most fun as Gargamel. He looks very much like the cartoon version, thanks to a small dose of nose prosthetics, and he cheerfully hams up every scene he’s in. His interactions with Azrael (Mr. Krinkle) are the best parts of the show. Speaking of Azrael, as long as the camera keeps its distance, the illusion of a semi-talking cat works pretty well. When they do a close-up to try to personify his expression or his actions, however, he just looks fake and creepy.

Unfortunately, director Raja Gosnell likes fast pans, which is very disorienting in a 3D film, at least if you’re sitting near the front. It took my eyes about a half-second to readjust after each one. Other than that, the 3D does a slightly better than average job. The Smurfs themselves don’t ever seem to pop out but some environments have decent effects. On the other hand, there were spans of time where taking the 3D glasses off made for a clearer picture. Don’t bother paying the extra for 3D if you can help it. The sound is likewise unimpressive. The voices come through clearly but there is little ambient noise. I never felt immersed in the world the film presented.

Like Papa Smurf, I have a vision: several months from now, around, say, Christmas shopping time, The Smurfs will become available for your home viewing pleasure, and the film’s marketing department will not miss out on the color-coordinating potential of Smurfs and Blu-ray discs. You heard it here first.

Closing Statement
The kids in the audience seemed entertained throughout, so at least the minor half of the target audience got its money’s worth. The Smurfs is simple and straightforward, and children should have no trouble figuring out the basics, even if the ad-executive subplot doesn’t have any meaning for them.

The Verdict
5/10

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